Death or Divorce?

Death or Divorce

Can you believe it may be easier for a person to deal with the death of a spouse than it is to deal with divorce?   Why?  Death is final, divorce isn’t.

For years after the break up you may have to deal with the legal aspects of divorce; custody of children, division of property, visitation, child and spousal support to name a few.  We all know that cannot be fun.  Obviously when there are children involved then you will potentially have to deal with this person for a very, very long time and not only them but their new partners as well.

Until a person is healed it will be like rubbing salt in their wounds and how do you heal when someone is aggravating your wound by their very presence?  For me I found avoidance was the only solution until I was ready.  But then I question whether that only delayed the healing.  Thoughts?

Unfortunately when a person is deciding on whether to stay in a marriage or get out, their partner’s emotional well being may not be a deciding factor.   The reality is though that divorce can cause serious depression for either one or both parties due to the loss of a life partner, loss of identity,  restructuring of the family, loss of friends change in financial circumstances – two homes cost more than one.

For me I found the fact that our family will forever be altered and I will always miss out on a part of my children’s experiences whenever they were with their father as a continual sore spot.  How do you go from being at everything all the time to giving up almost half?It’s funny how before our break up my complaint may have been, “I do everything” to after “I don’t get to do everything.”

However, even if initially we may prefer if our ex spouse had just died than to go through an ugly break up and divorce ( yes it is that serious).  With time I believe most people are ok that they didn’t.    With time we get adjusted and accepting of our new reality.  With time even the time our children spend away from us is a blessing.

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