My 16 year old is dating! Well as of yesterday it is now up in the air as to whether they are still dating or not (I will explain later). Not sure how I feel about him dating. I actually told him that I will decide as we go along what is okay or not okay with me as I actually do not have a prearranged plan.
Before I go ahead let me clarify my definition of dating. He is not going out with different girls or anything like that. There is one girl right now that he has taken a deep ‘fancy’ to and so they have decided to explore where there friendship will lead. That is my definition of dating for now and for that age.
I keep reminding him that the pressure is on him to not mess up. His future prospects of dating with my permission while under age and also that of his younger siblings is all dependent on how this goes. Anyhow for now I am still undecided. I am actually keeping a mental note of why dating too early is not good. I haven’t started the other list yet because right now I am not interested in how it is good.
But I allow him to date this one girl because of who she is and what her values are. See I know that whether I agree or not teens will date if they want. It can be with my knowledge or behind my back. So this one girl is doing well in school, she is not the partying type, they have known each other for 2 years and her parents are of the same faith and share the same expectations as I do. In fact she is not allowed to date. My son also is the kind of boy I honestly would want my daughter to date, in fact I told her that. Lol, she was not impressed. She is another story.
I really like this girl because she actually told her mother that she is dating my son. And I guess her mother is torn as me because after about a month her mother has decided she is not okay with it and that it must come to an end. They are allowed to be friends but that is it. And can you believe they are actually deliberating what to do! Unlike my daughter who simply says why don’t they say they are not and just continue (that’s one more strike against her). The girl is uncomfortable with lying to her mother and so being friends may be the only choice.
What really got me as well is that she told my son she is praying to God to ask what she should do. That’s it I think I love her! And so I will pray as well. Really I have been praying all along and I never got the urge to make them end it. Instead I focus on trying to make my son see the significance and consequence of a relationship on his life and hers.
But my only suggestion to them is to be ‘special friends’ who only see each other in the company of others. That might get her mother to retract the permanent grounding!
Posted with the approval of my son.