Mom can I? Mom he’s not? Mom can we? Mom where is?

Parenting is a tough job that truly never ends. Yep I am pretty sure it doesn’t end based on the fact that my mom still tells me what to do! Never mind whether or not I listen to her.Anyhow, this scripture has been a constant push and comfort to me when it comes to parenting my four children as a single mother.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  This verse has been nudging me on and on for some time now.  See I have good children who do not get into any real trouble which they are sure to point out to me every now and then.   But when parenting with the standard of the Word of God as your guide you get to see how much mediocre is not good enough.  However, when parenting knowing that you have God, not only as your standard, but as your help then you are comforted.

Yes, the standard is high but the God who is helping me to attain the standard is more than able.  The comfort also comes in knowing that as He nudges me on to perfection He is doing it for my own good and as I in turn nudge my children on to perfection it is also for theirs.

 

Stop Complaining About My Complaining!

Source: Stop Complaining About My Complaining!

The Kingdom of God is Here

Who are you wearing?

livingbyathread

The late comedian and television personality Joan Rivers coined and popularized the phrase: “Who are you wearing?” This question was asked to extremely well-dressed and fashion-forward Hollywood stars at black-tie events like the Oscars. The question produced interesting material for the television viewers. It also gave a nod to all of the famous elite designers who designed the attire and jewelry for A-list celebrities to lesser known ones. This question is still being asked on the red carpet because the people still want to know. It is a competition for attention and distinction for the stars and designers alike. Often – especially in the case of jewelry –  the celebrities do not have pay any money at all to either buy or rent what they wear. That is because the stars are walking billboards for the designer.

Does Joan Rivers’ question also apply to Christians? Who or what are you wearing? Do we…

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I Am A Son Of God!

That is the understanding that I am coming into more and more.  I first heard this about four years ago when I became born again.  Though I thought I understood since then, over the last few weeks I realize that I haven’t fully gotten it.

See if I fully understood I would not still struggle with all sorts of insecurities, and feelings of not being adequate.   I wouldn’t still be affected by all the things from my  childhood and upbringing, from genetic strengths and weaknesses  or even from past successes and failures.  No, because I am a son of God, because I was born again, I have my Father’s character and image, I am no longer the woman I always knew.  I am a new creation!  And as this new being I do not have to build a new character but I just have to follow the one that was already laid out for me by my Father.

As this new creation I have no past hurts, no past failures, no genetic defects that can affect my future.  They only can if I believe they can.  

So now that I understand this, it now takes the renewing of my mind to come into it, completely.   Where my mind might want to tell me to be afraid of other’s opinions, of failing or of not being good enough.  My Father is encouragingly saying “Do not be afraid, you can do all things, you are strong, it is not you but it is I who is in you.”  Wow, what power!!  I never as a child experienced the power and liberty that comes with hearing my father say “you can do it” but now that no longer matters because He can do it through me.

Nothing is of my own abilities and strengths because I have been given power to become His son.

Are We Stuck In Time?

Raising Motivated Learners: Twenty Questions

In asking they challenge themselves and us. In asking they challenge society’s norms. In asking they learn not to conform.

A Homeschool Mom

Our goal as parents and educators is to work ourselves out of a job; to raise our children to become responsible adults.

Join us as we share tips on how to raise motivated learners and equip them with the skills to pursue the path the Lord lays before them.

 …..

Remember those days; the ones where your kids asked twenty-million questions about everything around them? They wanted to know what made the sky blue, the birds sing, the flowers grow, and why people got mad. If we’re honest with ourselves, those questions could become tiring after a while. Just how many questions can this little person have? When will the questions stop? Perhaps you’re there now and wondering these things even as you read. Allow me to encourage you with this: If we are doing our jobs right, our children will never stop asking questions and, trust me, that’s a good thing!

One of…

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Young Love?

My 16 year old is dating!  Well as of yesterday it is now up in the air as to whether they are still dating or not (I will explain later).   Not sure how I feel about him dating.  I actually told him that I will decide as we go along what is okay or not okay with me as I actually do not have a prearranged plan.

Before I go ahead let me clarify my definition of dating.  He is not going out with different girls or anything like that.  There is one girl right now that he has taken a deep ‘fancy’ to and so they have decided to explore where there friendship will lead.  That is my definition of dating for now and for that age.

I keep reminding him that the pressure is on him to not mess up.  His future prospects of dating with my permission while under age and also that of his younger siblings is all dependent on how this goes.   Anyhow for now I am still undecided.  I am actually keeping a mental note of why dating too early is not good.  I haven’t started the other list yet because right now I am not interested in how it is good.

But I allow him to date this one girl because of who she is and what her values are.  See I know that whether I agree or not teens will date if they want.  It can be with my knowledge or behind my back.  So this one girl is doing well in school, she is not the partying type, they have known each other for 2 years and her parents are of the same faith and share the same expectations as I do.  In fact she is not allowed to date.  My son also is the kind of boy I honestly would want my daughter to date, in fact I told her that.  Lol, she was not impressed.  She is another story.

I really like this girl because she actually told her mother that she is dating my son.  And I guess her mother is torn as me because after about a month her mother has decided she is not okay with it and that it must come to an end.  They are allowed to be friends but that is it.  And can you believe they are actually deliberating what to do!  Unlike my daughter who simply says why don’t they say they are not and just continue (that’s one more strike against her).  The girl is uncomfortable with lying to her mother and so being friends may be the only choice.

What really got me as well is that she told my son she is praying to God to ask what she should do.  That’s it I think I love her!  And so I will pray as well.  Really I have been praying all along and I never got the urge to make them end it.  Instead I focus on trying to make my son see the significance and consequence of a relationship on his life and hers.

But my only suggestion to them is to be ‘special friends’ who only see each other in the company of others.  That might get her mother to retract the permanent grounding!

Posted with the approval of my son.

You shall teach them diligently to your children.

My ex husband was and probably still is really good at teaching my children manners.  I am good at reminding them of their please and thank yous, but he is much better than me. How?  He taught them from a young age to hold doors for others or to shake hands with people at all times and thank them for whatever it is they had done.  So after my children finished their soccer or baseball practice they would have to go over and shake the coach’s hand and say thank you.  This to me used to be quite impressive but strange.

No matter how great and necessary it is to be well mannered there is something that God has consistently reminded me is of much more importance.

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! 

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart,

with all your soul, and with all your strength.  

“And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.  

You shall teach them diligently to your children,

and shall talk of them when you sit in your house,

when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 

Until my children are taught and understand how deeply God loves them and that He requires us to reciprocate this love back to Him, we haven’t really taught them anything.

So the challenge for me has been to consistently find ways to teach them.  Any one who deals with young people knows that it is not always easy to capture their attention.  And anyone who has tried to teach a young person about God knows that in our society with everything working against the knowledge of God in their lives it can be very challenging.

But to encourage any other person who understands and is going through what I am going through I would say, just don’t give up.  As much as it seems as they are not receiving or applying they are, or they will at least.  So keep going!!!  The thing to recognize is that we are challenging so many norms that they see and experience around them so do it with love and understanding, but also do it with confidence.  Understanding does not mean acceptance however, but it just allows you to be compassionate about their reality.

But the Word constantly reminds me of our duty as parents to teach our children, diligently, so it does not depart from them.  And so, I try to find different ways to do so and also at different times.  It may be informal and in the car or while watching something on tv or it may be more formal in our living room.  But to raise children who are conscious of God in their lives we truly have to not only keep Him in our lives as parents but also consistently teach and also display what that looks like to them.

 

Yes, I still drive them to and from school!

Some people criticize my willingness to drive my children to and from school.  (Fyi.  I have two children in high school and two younger ones that are now home schooled).  The argument is they should learn to be independent, responsible, hard working etc.  I agree completely that there are benefits to a child making their way home on their own at the appropriate age.  Yet even though I know there are benefits I still choose to pick my children up more times than not.

I too question my need to be their chauffeur.   I must say that I didn’t always do this but this has been a new development since my separation from their father.  Hmm, that’s probably food for thought right there.  Well actually I should add I would have always picked them up and drop them off but I was advised against it by ex before, but since the cat is away…..

When I think it over, I know I have had a privilege that parents who aren’t able to drive their children may not know.  I know my children’s friends.  (It is true the saying show me your friends and I will show you who you are, or at least its who you desire to be) I know where these friends live.  I know how they dress, I know how they behave (especially when there are no teachers or parent watching).  Even as they grow I see the difference in their character and behavior over time.  Yes other parents may have this opportunity too but my theory is the more we understand our children and their choices in friends the better.

My daughter can not easily trick me into what she wants me to believe about her friends.  Nope, because I have already evaluated them, and not only them, but also their parents as well.  I know that sounds weird but I am sure other parents have done the same to me as well.

Yes one may argue a child needs to choose their friends and make their own choices and again I agree, but within limits of course.  Don’t get me wrong I do not choose my children’s friends.  Well not entirely, I have tried to get them to change one or two here and there and usually to no avail, they seem to have to make that decision on their own, unfortunately.

But the benefit I have experienced in picking them up is that it allows me to be more aware of their world at school.  I see the trends in clothing, hair styles etc.  I have not chosen my children’s friends but I have been able to give advise based off what I have observed.  The key to giving advise is to be cautious remembering that this is your child’s friend.  So I may point out  to my daughter that her friend’s outfits may be much too revealing for my liking.  In doing this it reinforces to my daughter my stance on fashion but also allows her the opportunity to evaluate for herself.  Mind you, in critiquing the outfit I am not quick to put a judgement on the child only on their choice in clothing.

I must say though that when they walk home they do develop endurance especially when trekking through our Canadian weather.  And I notice that it also helps me to see where they are at developmentally as well.  For example, before my children would have to pass the park to get home.  How long they would linger at the park showed me how responsible, and disciplined they were or weren’t.